Monday, April 11, 2011
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
what up aytus
Who is aytus? I'm not really sure. but when people take breaks, they say hi to him. Hi aytus. Hiatus.
Geez that wasn't funny at all.
Ok, so i haven't posted in awhile. i'm not sure if anyone has noticed, but who cares. truth of the matter is that i've been mad busy. like sean paul. though he gets busy. and then he talks in some made up sean paul langauge that no one understands but himself. i hear they teach it at prestigious universities though.
Winston Weatherford, a 2010 Harvard graduate writes, "I am fluent in Sean Paulanese, which had complimented my degree in economic political trade foreign philosophy studies"
good for you man. now have fun hitting on a girl at a bar.
Ok, enough dawdling. I wrote this because I am sad to inform you that I will be leaving this blog blog. Yes, quite the sad day. However, I must make it a point that I will NOT, i repeat NOT go all brett favre on you. Like miley cyrus, my writing prowess can't be tamed. So instead of claiming i am donezo, only to make a triumphant self absorbed return would be no better than holding an hour long special about taking my talents to copenhagen or some shiiite.
By the way, why are there no shiite muslims that are phillies fans?
answer: Its always sunni in philadelphia
take that popsicle stick fools.
ok, so i'm leaving. not like jesse mccartney. but before i go, I would like to make peace with you, the awesome sauce reader.
1. I am leaving because I simply cannot keep up with the demands of a blog blog worthy of your readership. I am currently working as many jobs as steve, and the Jacket is inadvertently getting shunted to the side. if i continued for now, the product you would be getting would be worse quality than a firestone tire back in the 1980s when they blew up. and no, not in the way ke$ha uses it. blowin up.
I love writing, and as you may be aware of, I want to make my words worth something. kind of like william. In addition to my sportswriting (http://bleacherreport.com/users/267460-lance-pauker) I am in the process of writing a book, and I am strongly considering starting to write a movie. I have a sick nasty idea, and I really want to see it through.
Top this off with having two jobs, managing a softball team (though I don't really do anything, its all giffoon dawg), liking to party, and attempting to have a social life (overrated), free time is harder to find than Lindsey Lohan's diginity.
sorry lindsey. the joke was just too good to pass up.
2. Failure vs. Success
This blog has taught me many things, one being the difference between failure and success. Fact is, neither of these things actually exist. You cannot technically be successful (or a failure) at anything in life, because there is no alternative reality to compare it to. Yea, maybe you could say that Al Smith was a failure because he lost the 1932 presidential election to Franklin Delano Roosevelt. But how do you know that? because there is no alternative universe where al smith was actually president, you have no IDEA whether or not he failed, succeeded, or anything in between. what if he lost the war? what if we all spoke japanese?
i can't really answer these rhetorical questions, although we'd probably get to have spicy tuna rolls more often. major plus.
People live their lives, and anything that happens can be interpreted as success or failure. the true beauty of these concepts however, is that they are completely and fully subjective. the only judge of success and failure is yourself. and because the concepts are subjective to begin with, they have no concrete meaning. thus, your own evaluations of the two concepts don't actually mean ANYTHING, because there is no control to judge them by. the ideas are simply variables in a vacuum. wow, i'm going all science on you. even i'm shocked.
what i'm trying to say is that you shouldn't worry about too much in life. at the end of the day, both success and failures end up in the same heap of dung known as "your memory." do what you want, because at the end of the day, life is just a big pile of memories.
always be true to yourself. be true to your pile, always. because if you're too caught up in trying to impress others, you might forget to store the magical moments in your pensieve.
songs of the day:
Geez that wasn't funny at all.
Ok, so i haven't posted in awhile. i'm not sure if anyone has noticed, but who cares. truth of the matter is that i've been mad busy. like sean paul. though he gets busy. and then he talks in some made up sean paul langauge that no one understands but himself. i hear they teach it at prestigious universities though.
Winston Weatherford, a 2010 Harvard graduate writes, "I am fluent in Sean Paulanese, which had complimented my degree in economic political trade foreign philosophy studies"
good for you man. now have fun hitting on a girl at a bar.
Ok, enough dawdling. I wrote this because I am sad to inform you that I will be leaving this blog blog. Yes, quite the sad day. However, I must make it a point that I will NOT, i repeat NOT go all brett favre on you. Like miley cyrus, my writing prowess can't be tamed. So instead of claiming i am donezo, only to make a triumphant self absorbed return would be no better than holding an hour long special about taking my talents to copenhagen or some shiiite.
By the way, why are there no shiite muslims that are phillies fans?
answer: Its always sunni in philadelphia
take that popsicle stick fools.
ok, so i'm leaving. not like jesse mccartney. but before i go, I would like to make peace with you, the awesome sauce reader.
1. I am leaving because I simply cannot keep up with the demands of a blog blog worthy of your readership. I am currently working as many jobs as steve, and the Jacket is inadvertently getting shunted to the side. if i continued for now, the product you would be getting would be worse quality than a firestone tire back in the 1980s when they blew up. and no, not in the way ke$ha uses it. blowin up.
I love writing, and as you may be aware of, I want to make my words worth something. kind of like william. In addition to my sportswriting (http://bleacherreport.com/users/267460-lance-pauker) I am in the process of writing a book, and I am strongly considering starting to write a movie. I have a sick nasty idea, and I really want to see it through.
Top this off with having two jobs, managing a softball team (though I don't really do anything, its all giffoon dawg), liking to party, and attempting to have a social life (overrated), free time is harder to find than Lindsey Lohan's diginity.
sorry lindsey. the joke was just too good to pass up.
2. Failure vs. Success
This blog has taught me many things, one being the difference between failure and success. Fact is, neither of these things actually exist. You cannot technically be successful (or a failure) at anything in life, because there is no alternative reality to compare it to. Yea, maybe you could say that Al Smith was a failure because he lost the 1932 presidential election to Franklin Delano Roosevelt. But how do you know that? because there is no alternative universe where al smith was actually president, you have no IDEA whether or not he failed, succeeded, or anything in between. what if he lost the war? what if we all spoke japanese?
i can't really answer these rhetorical questions, although we'd probably get to have spicy tuna rolls more often. major plus.
People live their lives, and anything that happens can be interpreted as success or failure. the true beauty of these concepts however, is that they are completely and fully subjective. the only judge of success and failure is yourself. and because the concepts are subjective to begin with, they have no concrete meaning. thus, your own evaluations of the two concepts don't actually mean ANYTHING, because there is no control to judge them by. the ideas are simply variables in a vacuum. wow, i'm going all science on you. even i'm shocked.
what i'm trying to say is that you shouldn't worry about too much in life. at the end of the day, both success and failures end up in the same heap of dung known as "your memory." do what you want, because at the end of the day, life is just a big pile of memories.
always be true to yourself. be true to your pile, always. because if you're too caught up in trying to impress others, you might forget to store the magical moments in your pensieve.
songs of the day:
Friday, July 16, 2010
Guest post from the mafia...in china
The mafia has taken his many talents to china, where he will be living his life for the next six months. apparently, they aren't a fan of my blog over yonder
_________________________________________________________
Words of Wisdom from The Mafia
So when I woke up this morning in a room in a youth hostel in the Xuhui district of Shanghai, seeing as I had absolutely nothing else to do (it was 5 am) I decided to check me email. After wasting ten minutes or so reading all that was in my inbox and responding the the messages that didn't come from facebook, a website considered to dangerous for use by the mighty Chinese Communist Party, I decided to try to read the blog to see if I had missed any spectacular posts by The Revolution. What I found shocked me. The most valuable blogspot address known to man is blocked in China, and I am no longer able to read the blog I love so dearly. So i'm writing this for 2 reasons. First, so the unlucky chinese man who has to read my emails can know how pissed off I am at this fucking absurdity, and second, so that you the valued readers of the blog can begin to understand how powerful the blog is, as its considered too dangerous and seditious for people in China. Now thats something to think about
Peace, Love and a Favorable Exchange Rate,
-The Mafia
__________________________________________
song of the day: The first minute of this mashup may very well be the greatest thing I have ever heard. the rest isn't too bad either, but the first minute is just jack black craaazy good
_________________________________________________________
Words of Wisdom from The Mafia
So when I woke up this morning in a room in a youth hostel in the Xuhui district of Shanghai, seeing as I had absolutely nothing else to do (it was 5 am) I decided to check me email. After wasting ten minutes or so reading all that was in my inbox and responding the the messages that didn't come from facebook, a website considered to dangerous for use by the mighty Chinese Communist Party, I decided to try to read the blog to see if I had missed any spectacular posts by The Revolution. What I found shocked me. The most valuable blogspot address known to man is blocked in China, and I am no longer able to read the blog I love so dearly. So i'm writing this for 2 reasons. First, so the unlucky chinese man who has to read my emails can know how pissed off I am at this fucking absurdity, and second, so that you the valued readers of the blog can begin to understand how powerful the blog is, as its considered too dangerous and seditious for people in China. Now thats something to think about
Peace, Love and a Favorable Exchange Rate,
-The Mafia
__________________________________________
song of the day: The first minute of this mashup may very well be the greatest thing I have ever heard. the rest isn't too bad either, but the first minute is just jack black craaazy good
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Thoughts on a page
Swimming. faster than michael phelps in that subway commercial. what does it mean? nobody really knows, as it is a fantasy-based social construction moderately applicable to the current societal pop landscape.
that sentence that i just wrote was a bunch of bullshit. it made me try and sound smarter than i actually am. though smartness is not a quantitative quality. wait no, i lied. it is. numbers are the only thing in the world that have concrete solutions. i guess thats why i hate them so much.
solutions, other than those chemical concoctions from your 5th grade science class (lugol's iodine yo), are unequivocally boring. a solution effectively provides a dead end. you can't go past its finity. thats that, and we cant change its outcome. what happened happened. the intense critical thinking used to solve the problem that this so-called solution has generated is now moot. its irrelevant. its donezo. we have the answer, and thats all that matters.
boo that.
I think the thing that makes life beautiful is lack of solutions. answers that cannot be fully explained are the answers worth exploring. this profound thesisishy thing may sound more counterproductive than T pain singing without autotune ( a question without an answer? how do I get an A?), but thats not the point. its never the point. not having a point is what makes us tick. it allows us to explore the ridiculousness around us. it allows us to clog our head with thoughts that are both exceedingly trivial and immaculately deep. it allows us to find, to procreate, and to, oddly enough, form conclusions. even if its the wrong conclusion, its still ours. its not given to us by someone.
Humans thrive on the ability to mentally construct. nearly every tangible thing in this world is a result of human thought. this couch, the chess pieces next to me and its inherent value, the concept of money, the fall fashion preview magazine with this girl who is not attractive enough for the cover, your i-pod, that disgusting new KFC sandwhich, and even those retarted silly bands.
some great, some not so great. either way, they all came to be because someone decided they wanted to create their own equation.
by not having a solution, you are removing rigidity. this may sound overly liberal and non-conformist, but i dont care. the human mind, when its not dumbing itself down with the bullshit of other human beings, craves this kind of stimulation. it doesn't matter if you even apply these thoughts into your cute little life scheme. the very fact that it allows you to ponder is just downright awesome.
maybe its better to make the math problem of your life unanswerable. this way, you won't spend 30 minutes checking over, making sure everything fell into place perfectly.
What if?
If we found out, we'd probably be disappointed with the answer. But what if we weren't?
song of the day: Faithfully, Journey
i'm don't usually like older rock, but i'm a big fan of this one. i'm also a big fan of the phrase big fan.
that sentence that i just wrote was a bunch of bullshit. it made me try and sound smarter than i actually am. though smartness is not a quantitative quality. wait no, i lied. it is. numbers are the only thing in the world that have concrete solutions. i guess thats why i hate them so much.
solutions, other than those chemical concoctions from your 5th grade science class (lugol's iodine yo), are unequivocally boring. a solution effectively provides a dead end. you can't go past its finity. thats that, and we cant change its outcome. what happened happened. the intense critical thinking used to solve the problem that this so-called solution has generated is now moot. its irrelevant. its donezo. we have the answer, and thats all that matters.
boo that.
I think the thing that makes life beautiful is lack of solutions. answers that cannot be fully explained are the answers worth exploring. this profound thesisishy thing may sound more counterproductive than T pain singing without autotune ( a question without an answer? how do I get an A?), but thats not the point. its never the point. not having a point is what makes us tick. it allows us to explore the ridiculousness around us. it allows us to clog our head with thoughts that are both exceedingly trivial and immaculately deep. it allows us to find, to procreate, and to, oddly enough, form conclusions. even if its the wrong conclusion, its still ours. its not given to us by someone.
Humans thrive on the ability to mentally construct. nearly every tangible thing in this world is a result of human thought. this couch, the chess pieces next to me and its inherent value, the concept of money, the fall fashion preview magazine with this girl who is not attractive enough for the cover, your i-pod, that disgusting new KFC sandwhich, and even those retarted silly bands.
some great, some not so great. either way, they all came to be because someone decided they wanted to create their own equation.
by not having a solution, you are removing rigidity. this may sound overly liberal and non-conformist, but i dont care. the human mind, when its not dumbing itself down with the bullshit of other human beings, craves this kind of stimulation. it doesn't matter if you even apply these thoughts into your cute little life scheme. the very fact that it allows you to ponder is just downright awesome.
maybe its better to make the math problem of your life unanswerable. this way, you won't spend 30 minutes checking over, making sure everything fell into place perfectly.
What if?
If we found out, we'd probably be disappointed with the answer. But what if we weren't?
song of the day: Faithfully, Journey
i'm don't usually like older rock, but i'm a big fan of this one. i'm also a big fan of the phrase big fan.
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