This weekend I went on down to the heart of Amurrca to celebrate the rowdy sauce holiday that is the fourth of july. Although I was away the perpetual life of the party, mr. droad pauker, I ended up having a rather swell time.
I went to the big georgetown to live it up collegiate style for one last smoldering time before I go off to copenhagen, disown everything, and drop out of school to "change the world, man." I could tell you the story in vague, esoterically referenced banter, but that wouldn't be fun for anyone involved. heres the story straight up (on that kryptonite)
***out of decency and respect for the common human being, the story will be somewhat censored. though i really wish it wasn't. if you want the full story, i'll be accepting bribes starting....NOW
***out of decency and respect for the common human being, the story will be somewhat censored. though i really wish it wasn't. if you want the full story, i'll be accepting bribes starting....NOW
Saturday, July 3rd
6:00 am: My alarm rings the awesome sauce alarm that is the "Doug" Theme song. I slept on my brothers pull out bed because my aunt and baby cousins (well, they're almost 7 now) were visiting and sleeping in my 5 star luxury suite.
6:07: After a brief "sleep while awake" period, I hop in the shower, turn the water on, took a look at the shampoo said whats up. Yea. Get lotion. oh. I gotta question why they get Pantene? I aint did nothing to it. but gel up my faux hawk say wats up. yea. get old spice. oh.
6:30: Being that I was going on a trip, I had tu pac. I made sure to bring all my frat star apparel.
6:43: I spent about an hour the night before looking for my phone charger. obviously, I couldn't find it. in sudden epiphany, I realized that there was a spare charger at my place of employment. Logically, I decided to drive all the way to my professional setting, the beach, to get that phone charger fo sho at 6 43 in the morning. pretty normal occurence.
7:10: I arrive at the residence of the big alli, my partner in crime for the driving trip. alli, a wahoo fo lyfe, is visiting a cluster of fellow Wahoowians in Vienna, which is in NoVa scotia. Apparently when you combine austria and canada, you get northern virginia. who knew?
p!nk did. i guess thats when she was learning about when she was supposed to be studying proper grammatical order of punctuation.
7:40: before alli and I embark on our glorious journey, we stop at the smithtown bagel store. we tell the owner dude--who is secretly richard alpert because he hasn't aged in 15 years--that we are going to DC. Richard alpert was a big jokester, and told us that he catered bermuda, obama, come on pretty mama's inauguration. he wanted us to say hi.
We drive down to DC. The trip was rather glorious, and everyone was really scared of our ballerness so they evacuated the highway and let us charge on.
some major highlights:
-new jersey is officially the worst state ever, as confirmed by and ice breaker game that alli once participated in.
-people at rest stops are "bleggh"
-alli also has a blog, which you should probably read, and we decided that blogging is the third best thing ever behind guacamole and that charlie bit me video.
-i discovered that i do not know how to lock my car without setting off the car alarm. good thing i don't really believe in security, otherwise i'd probably be better off buying a vuvuzela*
that didn't make much sense, but i really like vuvuzelas and thought they should probably be mentioned
2:00 pm: Arrive at gtown. I chan ho parked in a parking lot that i later found out was illegal and probably should have got towed in, but i'm a pretty sneaky person so i didn't get caught. My roommate, current georgetown legend, and gratious host for the weekend, evan longoria, meets us and starts ranting incoherently in german because he is pumped up that germany destroyed argentina in the messi-est of fashions. Too bad they are going to lose to la furious cookie rojas in the semis.... Alli gets picked up by her friend after she mistakenly drove to 37th and O Southeast, which in the words of DMX, is where the hood at.
2:12 pm: Hit up the lawn to engage in frat star like activities. I meet up with old time friends jared center-dawg and issei don't you nino and one of their mutual friends. we drink some beverages that aren't water, soda, or juice.
3:00: The ace factor enters the picture. casual beverages continue to hustle and flow, and I become google buzzed rather quickly.
3:00: The ace factor enters the picture. casual beverages continue to hustle and flow, and I become google buzzed rather quickly.
End of chapter one. The story picks up pace from here, so i'll throw some suspense at ya.
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