You Know You're A Hipster When....

Aside from Justin Bieber, the humanity's biggest threat these days is the hipster. So that we can sleep safely at night, uninterrupted by god-awful anti pop and progressively indie music, I have compiled the ultimate list to help us protest against hipsteria. That is, before they protest against us



eeesh. And we haven't even got to humans yet.


YOU KNOW YOU'RE A HIPSTER WHEN:

• Your jeans are tighter than your boxers
• Your earrings are bigger than your girlfriends (guy hipster)
• Your earrings are bigger than your boyfriends earrings that are bigger than yours (girl hipster)
• You go to Urban Outfitters to buy a "Shakira," only to realize that its not an article of clothing
• You wear argyle sweaters. over collared shirts. over argyle sweaters
• You hate justin bieber, yet have the same exact hair as him
• You loved the 80's and the 60's, but despise the 70's
• You work at a run-down amusement park
• When taking pictures, you NEVER look directly at the camera
• When you go to the library, you spend more time smoking outside
• You wear winter hats in the summer
• You stopped smoking weed because everyone else does
• You ride the subway for fun

• You quit Little League after a year, but continue to wear the hat. sideways.
• You have never been to your campus gym
• You don't know your natural hair color anymore
• If facebook wasn't so useful, you'd hate it
• Your school has a football team? sports? thats a thing?
• Stoops are the perfect place to take pictures that you convert to black and white on your mac
• You have headphones that are so heavy they stunted your growth
• you take adderall for fun
• A shitty apartment in Brooklyn is your dream home
• You wear plastic shades
• Passion Pit is too popular for you
• What the fuck is a Dell?
• Your belt gives off a stronger reflection than a solar panel
• "Shows" are your "scene"
• You wear two pairs of leggings at the same time (girls....wait no both)
• You've been using the same razor since you started shaving...and people are starting to notice
• You have a communist flag in your room
• Your cellphone is older than miley cyrus and the only reason why the battery doesn't fall out is because its  up with construction tape
• Who is Miley Cyrus?
• "Emo" was sooo two years ago
• Your beanie baby collection is 250 and going strong
• None of your listeners have ever heard of 90% of the songs on your radio show
• You have a thing for Dr. Seuss Books. And Toy Story 
• You are in a band, but don't have a drummer
• You have a degree from a small liberal arts school. in painting. 
• You are more "edgy" than everyone else. deck. 
• Holden Caufield is your idol
• Animal Collective. Enough said.
• You wear "legends of the hidden temple" shirts
• postmodernism (PoMo), fetishism, metrosexualism, IwearScarvesIsm
• You like bands with name like this! and that! and this?
• You once knew a republican

And in true fashion, i present the song of the day:

Twenty Two: Wakey!Wakey!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZD8N4a6Rfk

Plant or shine, Poso

(random hipster vocab)

***This post was inspired by "Look at this fucking hipster" http://www.latfh.com/ and "Hipster puppies"
http://hipsterpuppies.tumblr.com/....Though they'd probably be pissed if I gave them any recognition. Someone might notice them....