Friday, January 29, 2010

make your own kind of music

Sup all. yesterday was pretty much crazy town. but not really in the butterfly way.*

well get to that eventually. hype is good for any story anyway. even if the actual story is worse than charles barkleys golf swing, it gets people thinking about it. and thats what people want from you these days. your attention. if you think im wrong, watch a commercial.

for now ill leave you with some expertly crafted information

Things that don't really deserve to exist and should be outlawed fo' eva eva: Part one

Doritos: Quite possibly the most foul substance ever to walk the earth. Well actually, those pathetic excuses for chips dont have legs so i guess they cant walk. which i guess is a huge plus for society, because theres no doubt all doritos would be wextophiles**
Reasons why doritos should be as hated as much as peta hates michael vick:
1. They taste bad. which im pretty sure is a decently counter-productive characteristic to have if you are a food product. Though its not necessarily their fault. im pretty sure that when the dorito dudes were doing there thing down in the dorito factory, ABC was filming that show 'the mole.' you may have never heard of it, but it was this reality show where they got 10 people together, and one person was responsible for undermining every single task the group did. so when all the other chip designer extraordinaire's were being all chip skylarky trying to design the best tasting chips, this mole dude messed up the ingredients by putting in this substance called HDH (Humanly disgusting hormone)
Ok, so the first one was kind of subjective. maybe you just so happen to enjoy HDH. though if thats the case, you probably enjoy eating moldy bagels as well. whatever. here are strikes two and three:
2. The smell. doritos smell just about as good your high schoool cafeteria's sloppy joe and your local town dump combined. And it wouldn't be too bad if the terribleness of its smell was concentrated. But unlike orange juice, that insulting odor is multifaceted. it acts on two levels. in espn analyst spirit, heres the breakdown:
-the general odor that they emit is highly undesirable, well call this the Offensive odor, it actively attacks you and your surrounding environment.
-it wouldn't be so bad if the stank just stop there. but it doesn't. because after you consume the HDH infested substances, it infiltrates your breath. just like a staunch defense who won't even let up a first down, the now complete awfulness of your breath prevents anyone from getting near you. so if theres some sketchball guy or psycho girl approaching the danger zone, just hit up a bag of nacho cheese
3. The taste and smell is bad enough, but the powder shit is just unbearable. Essentially if you eat doritos, the powder of doom ensures that you become a walking talking HDH possessing, hobo smelling clown. essentially, the powder spreads the disease. H1N1 watch yourself Because your hands are covered with this awful virus, they reach the level of disgustingness worthy of adam sandlers black foot in mr deeds.

Song of the yesterday (we missed one): make your own kind of music: cass elliot

listen to the message. unless you are a mindless robot, its pretty good advice to live your life by

song of the day: butterfly: crazy town

interesting video to say the least. and great song

*See song of the day
**see last post
***see spot run

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