Get A Twitter

Its a waste of time. Its pointless. I'd never use it. Its for nerds.

No. No. No. Yes.

I may not know who you are, where you're from, or what you did. But as long as you have a twitter, i'll love you.

wow, that was just an awful joke.


Reasons why you should get a twitter (in under 140 characters)

-The gems people come up with are just priceless

@RustyRockets (Russell Brand), on the England's goal allowed against USA:

Steve Gerrard "The whole team is behind Rob Green". In retrospect, that's a good place to stand.


@AzizAnsari:


No idea why carne asada is trending on Twitter in LA, but if BP fucked up carne asada some how, I'm gonna be fucking PISSED.


@Paul Conna:


Adam Morrison has two NBA championships. I need his jersey now.


@funnyhumour 


Can't wait for Vuvuzela hero to come out on the xbox.


@StephenAtHome (Stephen Colbert)


george w. bush has a facebook page. i bet he's clearing a lot of brush in farmville






-Even if people hate you more than the French soccer coach, someones bound to follow you


-Follow the people/things/events you want, and twitter becomes a personalized news source. about things you actually care about. 


-If you ever want to show the world how awesome you are, link your shit on twitter and the twaddicts will be straight up on that kryptonite


-You get say idiotic things, and get away with it.


-You probably feel like a fat, washed up loser after spending 6 hours a day on facebook. Twitter is facebook on anorexia, so it'll help you lose weight


-You could follow Enrique Inglesias


-It is USEFUL. I set up an interview with DJ Jewboy (he makes it rain on the shiksa's) through the twitski


-I want to adopt that twitter bird as a pet. Its just the coolest. and its so blue


-Twitter just told me that Amanda Bynes retired


-People will automatically think you are much more interesting than you actually are


-The twitter accounts of Georgetown basketball players are just a wonder to behold. I especially recommend Henry Sims


-Like I said... third best*




Cool. Now go sign up. It'll be happiest day of mah lifes


oh, and follow me: @LanceSauce






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Infant Sorrow: Bangers, Beans, And Mash







Awesome Sauce clip of the day