Saturday, May 15, 2010

Sophomore Year Recap

The school year is completely over. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it. To say the least, it was quite a year. There is no question that if I had to choose a year that best applied to Matchbox 20's song "let's see how far we've come," 2009-2010 gets the gold. And its not just because I have more facial hair. Although I do have to figure out balancing that and keeping my boyish charm.

I learned a lot this year. For instance, I learned to never sleepwalk, especially on the second night of school when half of your roommates aren't there. because chances are you will find yourself locked out of your apartment with no shirt and no shoes on, stumbling around georgetown like an idiot, only to embarassingly run into the girl who you have been thinking about the entire summer. drunk at 4 in the morning, with no shirt, no shoes, no phone, and no place to go. talk about suave. If you're really lucky, you could go try and stay with her until the morning because even though you are incredibly embarassed, she is nice enough to offer you a place to stay (as you have none), only to get rejected by the lady at the front desk of the dorm because you have no ID and look more of a mess than lady gaga. Aaaand if you're really lucky, you could have orientation training 3 hours later. 

I learned that the worst thing you could possibly do is interview a football coach right after he lost the last game of the season 41-14, giving his team an 0-11 record. And yes,  for the first time in the 150 year history of the program, Georgetown football goes defeated. (ominous music)

I learned that a Hi-Liter is a pretty effective flirting tool. Especially when blacklights and white shirts are involved. 

I learned about Hank Mardukas

I learned about Midg Lewis

I learned that timing and circumstances suck. Though I also learned that they are beautiful. Though I also learned that they suck. Though I also learned...ok i'll stop now

I learned that two jews and a hyper freak who creates facebook profiles for his dog could beat ANYONE at basketball. Even hammerhead sharks and wolfgang from hey arnold  

I learned how to pull an all-nighter. or two. or 17. 

I learned that Dells suck. I want a mac

I learned how to have your best friend visit you, watch him almost die, stay up until 6 in the morning so that he doesn't die,  watch him not wake up 2 hours later when you have to catch a bus in an hour, watch him miraculously be cured of his drunken stupor out of nowhere, watch him onwardly charge you to the bus in the most heroic hungover effort I have ever seen, watch him still be drunk on the bus, get off the bus, navigate yourself to walk 40 minutes across another school's campus in pouring rain to get to your first ever college football game, drive to another college that night, randomly run into people from your hometown at a party, get back to georgetown, run across the key bridge back to campus in about 5 minutes because you are that comitted to your frat frat frat and don't want to miss your meeting, and then to top it all off, have your friend miss his flight back. for everything else theres mastercard.  

I learned how to organize a formal where you are the only person that could actually recount what happened because everyone else was too busy either. a. throwing up in the bathroom. b. not throwing up in the bathroom... 

I learned about the legend of Eric Bodzin. 

I learned how to clean my apartment. Oh wait, no I didn't.
I learned how to bond with a futon

I learned how desperate people are to get into parties.
Example- I am at a party, being the bouncer. The party is full, and we are only letting in people we know.
Random kid tries to walk into the party
Me "Woah, sorry dude, we can't let you in right now"
Kid (drunk) "Yea, you can. I'm Lance. I'm in the frat"
Me "Really? you sure about that?"
Kid: "Alright, nah, but I know Lance"
Me: "You do?"
Kid "Yea"
Me: "Whats he like"
Kid: "he's fucking awesome"
Me: "i'd have to agree with that. enjoy the party."

I learned that the Super Mash Bros. are not only some of the chillest dudes on the planet, but I also learned that they are Jewish. Fuck shamrocks. I'm all about Veshamru's 

I learned that everything in life doesn't have a happy ending. In fact, I learned that everything in life doesn't have an ending. I'm not sure if thats good or bad, but I guess well find out. Or not. 

I learned why the movie dogma is called dogma

I learned how much better Spring Fling was than Georgetown's concert. Except that it wasn't. 

I learned how to pronouce "Gorlaaami"

I learned that I really like coffee shops. No homo. 

I learned that its not about the size of the frat in a fight. Its about the size of the fight in the frat, frat, frat. 

I learned that all i need is the air I breathe, good friends, and Village B 71. Nothing else. Although I wouldn't mind some Natty light, ping pong balls, and solo cups. 

song(s) of the school year:


  1. how could you not enjoy spring fling? it's only the most awesomest hyped up shabang of a mediocre concert there ever was and ever will be!

  2. If I recall Lan$e, while the guard might not have let you into the dorm, I did end up letting you back into the apartment