Saturday, May 29, 2010

Me, Myself, and They

They passed a law banning table salt at all restaurants in New York State. Whats next, Lauren Conrad writing a best-seller?*

How am I ever supposed to Friendly's anymore? You really expect me to eat those fries without salt? And what about all those 4th graders who put weird stuff in people's drinks and "double dog dare" them to drink it? Salt is a crucial element of that concoction.

I don't get why "they" get to decide everything all the time. They really have no idea what they're doing half the time. And they're mad rich and powerful.

People who have more Power than "They"
1. JD's associates
2. Preston Blake
3. That Sanjaya dude from American Idol
4. The Baja Men

I've been in the big Flo-daddy the past few days. It's pretty hot down here. That girl that sings with Nelly would probably want to take her clothes off.

I'm listening to a song by Matt Nathanson right now. Not really by choice. It just came up on my itunes. And like, I didn't really realize I was listening to the song until like halfway through the song. That ever happen to you? It happens to me all the time. Sometimes i'll listen to a whole song and not even know i'm listening to it. It's such a weird concept. Though I guess it balances out my itunes. Like, there's no way i've voluntary listened to "Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against the Machine 6 times. Yet itunes tells me I have.

Why do I even have Bulls on Parade, you may ask? Well, it's kind of like half the furniture in that room in your house that nobody ever goes in. Its there for decoration. And even though its never used, its still part of the house. If it was gone, someone would notice. Six months later, that is.

Why does everyone hate on Justin Bieber? I don't get it. What did he ever do to you? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. All he did was create about 6 average/slightly above average songs. It's not like he went to your house and stunk up the toilet. Geez Louise.

Oh, my bad Louise. She hates when I say that.

I decided today that I was going to end my relationship with hotel swimming pools. We're done. Finished.Not for any reason in particular. It's just not doing it for me anymore, you know? The spark is gone. No longer will I fling myself into a resort swimming pool as if it were my girlfriend of 3 years who I haven't seen since the summer. The pool and I no longer have that flaming passion between us. Every time we see each other, all we do is argue. She starts nagging me about how I never want to do anything anymore. She never lets me relax. All I want to do is just sit down in a chair and gather myself. We don't always have to be doing something, honey. And by the way. It's really hot. She never lets me sit in the shade. And I ALWAYS have to be reading a book. Why can't she ever give me anything interesting to read? John Adams was a cool dude, but there's no way im going to read 700 pages about who he invited to his dinner parties.

This doesn't really apply anymore now that i'm in college, but I used to have to be very careful about what snack food's I liked. For instance, if I mentioned in passing that I thought Nature Valley granola bars were "pretty good," my mom would sprint to the nature valley headquarters and come back with three trucks worth of the stuff. The 34 times were fine, but once I hit the 35th consecutive day of having a nature valley in my lunch bag, it became a real struggle. Thing is, I didn't want to throw it out. I hate people that never ate half of the things they had for lunch. Though I guess all of them had a career path set for them at that point--owners of the Cheesecake Factory.

I'm organizing a nationwide boycott of Progressive car insurance until they change their commercials. Who's with me?

In other news, there was some big oil spill somewhere. I don't really know much about it, all I know is that it was huge.

I know it's terrible, but I just really don't care about political stuff. At all. Maybe i'm just really selfish callous, and some other self-deprecating word that I can't think of, but it has absolutely no effect on me. And when it does, it's not like I can do anything to change it. Yea, I can lobby, I can be a politician. But I'd rather be doing other things with my time. Like, blogging about I don't have time to lobby, for instance. Plus, all politicians are immoral. That conniving guy in a suit with the dark glasses and slicked back hair always puts stuff in their drinks. Immoral stuff.

Oh well. I guess the only thing I can do is turn into one of those "down with society" people.

Thing is, apathy is happathy. And that rhymes. Busta.

song of the day:

Backstreet Boys: We've got it goin on

*It's funny because Lauren Conrad actually wrote a best-seller


  1. Anthony LifrieriMay 29, 2010 at 10:49 PM

    Thank "regular guy" Mike Bloomberg for the table salt, along with all the liberties taken away from the good people of NYC, as well as New York State as a result of the city being so important to the state. He thinks he knows better and that he's one of us, with his $300 dress shirt with no tie and the sleeves rolled up, his $1700 leather jacket that he wants everyone to know is not a sport or suit jacket, his $1200 pants, and his fifty cent cup of coffee that he gets from the "regular" coffee shop. He sits in the room with the regular people and socializes with them all, but he's not one of us. When you own your own jet, you cease to be just a "regular guy." I'm fine with him being wealthy and I don;t have a problem with it. In fact, I'm happy for him, but it doesn't give him the right to take salt off our tables, and other things out of our homes.

  2. And and and...dont forget the tax on the abutment of church lands so yeah...lets do this