Thursday, April 1, 2010


People always start their essays with quotes from famous people. I think thats garbage. How do you know that what they are saying actually relates to your essay?

you don't.

theres only one exception. if you are writing about the history of toilets, you get a free pass. because even the great william faulkner once said, "I have to go to the bathroom"

i'm pretty sure that entire skit wasn't funny at all. but then again, neither is Jimmy Fallon.

Being that Christmas Part II (The Final Four) is tomorrow, I thought i'd hitch up my sleigh and offer you some predictions.


Duke vs. West Virginia

Nobody knows what to expect from the Dukies. Frankly, this is uncharted waters from the little known basketball program from Durham, North Carolina.

"To be honest, I think the country is shocked we have made it this far," said first year head coach Mike Krzyzewski. "Prior to this season, Duke basketball was just about as relevant as recording artist Mike Jones."


In his first year at the helm, Krzyzewski as worked wonders with his squad. Perennial cellar-dwellers of the ACC, Duke has finally proven that they could ball with the country's elite.

"Its been a rough two decades for Duke fans," said Kryzewski. "A fan base as respectable as Duke's deserves better. I'm tired of the losing culture here."

The walking mispronunciation could not have spoken a truer word. Amidst their magical Cinderella run, the Dukies have captured the hearts of millions of fans nationwide.

"Everyone seems to love us," said senior forward Kyle Singler. "I don't think we've heard jeers all season...It must be partly due to my immaculately groomed appearance."

As the Blue Devils have never been a good shooting team, they will have to rely on their raw athleticism. The teams motto, "elevate and dominate," will need to be fully expressed if they are to have any chance against the Mountaineers.

"Fundamentals have never been my thing," said senior guard John Scheyer.

While the Dukies will try and out-leap the Mountaineers to the finals, West Virginia will rely on their inborn smarts to outwit the academically inferior Blue Devils.

The Mountaineers boast one of the most intelligent squads in the nation. In fact, the teams apparent obsession with their GPA's may in fact be their downfall.

Senior extraordinaire Da'Sean Butler is listed as questionable for tomorrows game, even though he is perfectly healthy. The reason?

"I got a huge midterm on Monday, man," said Butler. "Its 30% of my grade, and I gotta do well. I'm on the borderline for an A, and I need all the time to study that I can get."

Though losing Butler would be a huge blow to West Virginia's title chances, Coach Bob Huggins has been nothing but supportive of Butler.

"He's a student athlete," said Huggins. "We all know that school comes first."

Prediction: The refs will prove to be extremely biased against Duke, costing them a sure victory. The Mountaineers escape, 54-52.

song of the day:

Backstreet Boys: The call

pure terrificness

1 comment:

  1. What are you talking about Baby!!! The Dukies are awesome baby and we rigged the tournament to get them this far!!! WE Gotta keep Coach K from going to the NBA BABY!!! HE'S AWESOME BABY!!! Duke wins because they get every call BABY!!! I love this time of year Baby its awesome BABY!!! Next year it will be even better with 156 teams. We gotta pay the coaches somehow BABY!!!