Saturday, April 3, 2010

Shhhh nanagans

highlight of the past few days. so good that not even one of those "hi liter" three packs could handle it. hi-liter three packs. what a joke. sorry if you didn't get the post-it note, but were not in 8th grade english anymore.

but to be completely honest, not much has changed since then. eminem is still the man, and everyone still uses sparknotes.

anywho, i have a highlight to give you. but i can't give it to you just yet. first, i must comment on the fact that i just used the word "anywho" in a sentence. unless you are meryl streep, there is no way that you can say that word and actually be serious.

now that you've endured those two excuses for comedy, ill give you the highlight:

i was dc chillin on my futon yesterday, talking on the phone with my homie. right as I was telling her to meet me in the back with the jack and the jukebox, i heard a strange noise coming through my window. and it wasn't melissa etheridge.**

as I investigated further, I recognized the melodic tones of a guitar, wafting mindlessly through my window, almost as if the music was an audio replica of ashton kutcher in "dude, wheres my car."

immediately, i knew what I was dealing with. the man responsible for this tone was not in fact a man.

He was a bro.

As I looked out my window, I was hit with the full blast. luckily he wasn't of the basilisk version, or i would have been dead. Sitting under a shady br-oak tree, this collegiate specimen using his overly rehearsed musical prowess to demonstrate to the ladies that underneath his lacoste polo exists a man consumed by vulnerability. His polo/plaid shorts/boat shoes combo was just a sight to behold. Talk about kodak moments.

anyway, this post is of to be the short variety so that you can read the literary tour de force from our featured guest.

Mr. Steve Eisenband has been kind enough to lend us his incredible talent for the written word, so I have posted his masterpiece on the Featured Writers sideblog. Mr. Eisenband, the second coming of Vasco de Gamas and de Papas, talks about his exploits at the Prince Henry School of navigation. If I were you, i'd read it. To pass up sure fire entertainment would be about as smart as drafting a 47 year old grandfather over kevin durant.

song of the day:

we got some britney spears classicness:

**reference pertains to a song "come through my window, by melissa etheridge. if you actually got that, call me up and i'll throw you a celabratory parade

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