Thursday, March 11, 2010

Hipsters Don't Lie

Esteemed readers,

First off, I want to apologize for dissing the 90's as badly as I did. It was almost as unwarranted as Russell Crowe's behavior towards telephones. Though you can't entirely blame him. He probably thought he was still on the set for Gladiatior.

The point is, loving the 90's is not original. Everyone else played Pogs too. Which, by the way, should teach us all the dangers of using drugs. Because the creator of that excuse for an activity was definitely on something.

Before i continue with my untrendy-ness rant, heres a story I think you'll all enjoy.

Yesterday night the big e six mafia and I took a trip to the magnificent palace that is the smithtown movie theater. Being the Jimmy Neutron boy genius that I am, I decided that we should buy tickets at the automatic ticket tron thing so that we could get child tickets and save some loot. Because honestly, all our wallets are down like the economy.

The movie happened to be rated R, so buying child tickets made a lot sense. Well, at least the guy that checked our tickets thought so. I'll give you a play by play.

Movie employee dudester (in an accusatory tone): You guys are not twelve years old.

Evan and I: Nope

Movie employee dudester: Ok then. Enjoy the show


7 Things that were once cool but are now older news than print journalism (parts 3 and 4)

Aeropostale: Sorry for those of you who rep the 87 (thats the number they put on all their stuff), but Aeropostale is like, so 2004. To give you some proof, I walked into that once happening store the other day only to find that their soundtrack consisted of Yellowcard, Good Charlotte, and the Goo Goo Dolls. All good bands, but come on now. Do they really expect to compete with the Passion Pit, Phoenix, and 'Hey Soul Sister' compilation put together by their friends over at American Eagle?

You had a good run, Aero. But LaCoste, Vineyard Vines, and the new AE have all decided to make the same exact clothes as you. And since they are newer and you are not old enough to be considered 'vintage,' Aeroha means goodbye.

Internet Explorer: The search engine that was once more dominant than Beatles Cover Bands at 60th birthday parties has officially been given its AARP card. Heres why:

-People who use internet explorer never have stickers on their computers, a sure sign of trendiness
-People who use internet explorer don't have mac's. ew.
-People who use internet explorer probably also use Encarta. and no one has heard of encarta for at least 10 years
-Google chrome is the new thing, man. You don't use chrome? Its the best, man.
-You could not believe your sox, with 10 million firefox
-People who use internet explorer use 'Ask Jeeves' as their search engine.
-People who use internet explorer may still be using Windows 95
-People who use internet explorer probably make jokes about computers. And everybody knows that techie jokes are more unfunny than Jimmy Fallon. And he was in Fever Pitch.

Speaking of unfunny comedians....

Song of the Day:

Be Like That: Three Doors Down

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