Wednesday, March 24, 2010

lean, mean, grilling machine

Sorry about that angry horde of wildebeest that i wrote the other day. i was having issues. So many issues, that i temporarily turned into a magazine.

Anyway, back to gator boots and gucci suits:

Things that are sillier than rabbits who eat sugary cereal

-pencils without erasers. why bother being a pencil?

-leaving a group of people to go call somebody, but that somebody does not answer. you return to your group moments later, looking more foolish than the people that mr. T pities.

-low calorie energy drinks. useful

-being at a party and going to the bathroom even though you don't have to. you only go to the barthroom because you are either:
a. uncomfortable with the situation at hand
b. pretending like you have cooler things to do.

note: if you choose option b, you don't tell your compatriots that you are going to the bathroom.

-the final 1/4 of a milkshake. actually impossible to finish with a straw. i want a refund

-the guy at the gym who grunts and screams. its not a terrorist interrogation, you know.

-Taylor swifts inverted sense of women's fashion: girls, you should me mortified. imagine wearing sneakers instead of high heels at your prom? unforgivable.

-NASCAR. and even worse. Fans of nascar. Like this guy:

-remotes that don't work (aka every remote)

My bad, I couldn't think of anything else funny. i got writers block. and this block was really heavy. in fact, when i tried to lift it, i threw out my back. now my backs broken. ouch, chaarley. ouch.

due to my metaphorical brokeback, i'm probably going to have to go to the hospital. score one for the democrats and healthcare. party like a barackstar.

thats it for today. if i didn't didn't satisfy your hunger for procrastination, i suggest you grab a snickers.

coming up next: top 10 cereal mascots

song of the day:

spose: i'm awesome

because everyone is awesome.

well, mostly everyone.

that was positive

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