Tuesday, March 9, 2010

It was all a dream

The last few posts have been almost as excruciatingly long as that car ride home from when you REALLY have to go the the bathroom. And since everyone knows thats the worst, i'll weave through the traffic and cut the intro. just for you.

7 Things that were once trendy but are now older news than print journalism:
(parts 1 and 2)

1. Liking the 90's:

Sorry, you aren't unique for listening to Third Eye Blind, the Spin Doctors, and Soundgarden. I know its your persona (and thats fine, its mine too), but just to let you know, hating the backstreet boys in 4th grade and now loving them is just about as original as the background music in Flo-Rida's most recent songs.
Also, don't give me that crap about how 'you remember it. ' if you were born the same year as me, you were only SIX when Tupac bit the dust. I'm sure all the other first graders were morning his loss too.
Obviously we all know that the 90's was 'da bomb.' But lets be honest. You don't remember close to as much as you claim you do. So for all of you beanie baby collecting, tamagotchi caring, scrunchy donning, super-nintendo playing lovers of Dawson's creek, heres a quick reality check:

-The macarena isn't that cool of a dance. its kinda creepy
-Princess Diana's death wasn't the most important passing of your lifetime. Michael Jackson, anyone?
-Furbies are annoying
-'Friends' is now culturally irrelevant.
-I know you loved space jam, but watch it now. its just awful.
-Toys R Us is going out of business everywhere
-You're not the only one who thinks old Green Day was better. its common knowledge.
-Believe it or not, Britney Spears is flirting with 30
-The simpsons isn't really that funny anymore

** Despite all this, are you afraid of the dark is still scary. and light-up sneakers are still cool.

Ash Ketchum, AKA Jesus

2. Blue Tooth:

Need I say more about these hideous ear fangs? In case you never go the heads up, the auditions for Van Helsing already happened.

this guy can't actually be serious

Biggie died 13 years ago today. sniff, tear. lets honor him with the song of the day:

The Notorious B.I.G.
Juicy (1994)


  1. Anthony LifrieriMarch 9, 2010 at 6:52 PM

    Lance, Being I'm a little older lived through most of the 1990's with a fairly good comprehension of pop culture we need to agree to disagree. The 90's was an awesome decade. The rock music was excellent. Rap is crap as always, and I never much cared for Brittany Spears' singing...

    Back to the Rap music. It's not music. And another thing. Why is it that these rapper dudes are geniuses for making up new words to already done songs? Back in the 90's there was a rapper named vanilla ice who got in trouble for doing what EVERY SINGLE RAPPER TODAY DOES. My final point on rap music, William Shatner invented it. See his music on youtube.

    Green day sucked back then too. 95% of their songs sound the same. Delirium was one of the best songs ever made though. Great riff..

    Still you did bring out most of the bad parts of the decade. I do feel like a fool knowing i once did and still know how to do the macerena. You did leave out Clinton though, shame on you.

    Good stuff though, and I love the print media joke. Good looks bro.

  2. Anthony LifrieriMarch 9, 2010 at 6:53 PM


    Stop with the Harry potter comments. How many times do I have to tell you what really happened at the end of the books/movies...

  3. Green Day did not suck back then. My bad for not bringing up clinton, its almost inexcusable. I only say almost because politics isn't actually real.