Sunday, February 7, 2010

As a person, I would consider myself pretty laid back (with my mind on my money and my money on my mind)

but thats not to say things don't bother me. in fact, i think because im so laid back, when things bother me, they REALLY get to me. they get to me faster than that fat guy gets to the food at the big banquet. you know, when all the food is out and ready, but they don't actually serve it for like 30 minutes. but then when they finally announce that dinner is served, theres that one guy that'll stop at nothing to get to the front of the line. and i mean nothing. this is a little known fact, but those guys usually carry grenades in their pocket in case someone tries to cut them in line.

that was pretty excessive. anyway, to protect myself against the food militia, i hired that guy from taken. i figured extra protection was probably a good idea.

that wasn't a very good intro. i should probably work on them. that was almost as bad as when peter klaven tries to say goodbye to someone.*

if you've never seen i love you man, not only will you not get that joke, but your life will probably improve more than Tim Allen's home.

Things that are just awful and just about as necessary as the frequency in which you check your cellphone:

popsicle stick jokes: they just aren't funny. and everyone knows it. a funny popsicle joke is just about as common as lady gaga wearing normal clothes. though i don't think its entirely their fault. i think they hired carlos mencia as the executive producer of all popsicle stick jokes worldwide.

really dry sandwiches: contrary to the popular beliefs of jewish deli's worldwide, condiments other than relish DO exist.

really wet sandwiches: contrary to the popular beliefs of italian deli's worldwide, saran wrap and oil and vinegar are NOT the same thing. though again, its not entirely their fault. someone mobster dude once asked the don, on the day of his daughters wedding, to make him a sandwich with excessive amounts of oil and vinegar so that he could ward off the german vampires. following this requests, all italian deli owners have decreed that all sandwiches must follow the same protocol so that the mob doesn't order a hit on them.

the amount of cream cheese put on bagels at the bagel store: if you work at a bagel store, putting less than a full tub of cream cheese on a bagel is just about as rebellious as working at Toys R Us and not washing your hands before returning to work, even though the sign in the bathroom clearly states 'employees MUST wash their hands before returning to work'

thats enough for today. school is cancelled for tomorrow but i still have a paper due. fun. theres actually this band called 'Fun.' definitely one of the top 10 coolest band names ever.

this sunday is even more super than mario, so lets get some classic sports pump up

song of the day: requiem for a dream: lord of the rings soundtrack

not a huge fan of lord of the rings, but great song. to be honest, i never saw the movies. but not my fault. the movies were expensive and i didn't have enough tolkens to buy a ticket

No comments:

Post a Comment