Monday, February 8, 2010

Feelin kinda monday

i know its for horses, but im a big fan of the greeting 'hey.' to me, its much more genuine than a 'hi.' Obviously in the right situation, hi could work wonders. But i feel like a lot of the times, people say hi because its the shortest thing you could possibly say. which is morse code for 'i don't really like you too much because we don't really connect at all but we may have some friends in common or may be in the same study group or have some other affiliation, so to maintain homeostasis we have no choice to but to greet each other.'

honestly, i don't really know why people don't like hey. i mean, jude, delilah, and soul sister all seem to be pretty big fans

anyway, one of you clowns requested that I talk about some college stereotypes. Which by the way, was an idea as genius as re-making pochahontas and substituting 17th century virginia with weird blue people. apparently, that'll make you a lot of money these days.

COLLEGE STEREOTYPES, part 1

Tony Bromo: Tony is the quintessential all-american frat-star. Tony attends a college that he was nowhere near smart enough to get into on his own but his dad is some important alumni dude so he got in. In extreme cases, there is an entire building named after Tony's family. Tony wears hats ALL the time. Though he never wears them straight, because thats just donk, bro. plus, wearing them at a 120 degree angle allows his long, blonde hair to flow through that part of the hat that is open. Though you will never see him shopping, Tony somehow manages to be wearing a different hat every time you see him, though every hat he wears is of a beer that you wouldn't typically find on a college campus.
80% of his wardrobe consists of collared shirts. Most of them are pink, striped, or abnormal in some way. Last year, he made the switch from American Eagle to LaCoste. It was a kind of a big deal.
Though Tony could afford to drink any beer he chooses, he prefers nothing more than pounding down natty lights with his frat boys. On his wall are pictures of him hanging out with his bros from back home- he is sober in none of these pictures. Tony has about 70 alcohol violations, but he is somehow still in school. Tony was the backup quarterback of his high school football team. If Tony does not attend a state school, he thinks he does. His favorite movies are American Pie, Animal House, Grandma's Boy, Road Trip, Big Daddy, Old School, Anchorman, and 300. Tony can recite every single line from Zoolander.
Tony lived in the frat house last year, but this year he moved off campus into a really sweet house that his dad pretty much paid for. He lives with three other kids- Bro Montana, Bradley Browell, and Edgar Allen Bro- all of whom are 'so sick, duude.'
Bro Montana: Every sunday, Tony and Bro Montana order about 500 wings (they eat all of them), talk about how drunk they were the night before, and watch football. It is very tough to hear the TV, because both Tony and Bro spend the entire game enthusiastically yelling about how 'fucking sick, bro' that last play was.
Bradley Browell: Bradley likes to do two things. Smoke weed, and play guitar. Bradley has introduced Tony to dispatch, o.a.r, jack johnson, and of course, sublime. These are now Tony's favorite bands. Bradley has helped Tony with his guitar skills, though Tony has always played guitar. In fact, Tony even writes his own songs. After honing his skills with Bradley, Tony sits under the tree at the quad with his shirt off and plays songs (that he wrote) to girls so they could see how sensitive he is. Bradley would come, but he's too high.
Edgar Allen Bro: Edgar is far and away the smartest of the roommates. Though he likes to party as much as the rest of them, he spends a lot of his free time reading history books. Tony and Bro are baffled by Edgar's intellectual curiousity (they have none), but they are ok with it because Edgar is a 'really tight dude' and helps them out with their homework just about as often as a song is released featuring t-pain. Edgar is a walking, talking, baseball encyclopedia, though no one seems to know why. Edgar's GPA is 1.5 points higher than anyone else in the house.

Tony had been dating his girlfriend Angelina Brolie for about a year, but they recently broke up because she made him watch the notebook. Now that Tony is back on the open market, he is reading that Tucker Max book, which he loves. In fact, it is his favorite book ever. Though thats not saying much, because Tony has only read 4 other books in the last decade.
That was really long, so i'll end here. I'll come out with one or two new ones every post.

song of the day: The Middle (Acoustic): Jimmy Eat World

Not only does Tony really like this song, but it is actually pretty good. I actually chose the song in large part because of the video. so watch the video, its the best one yet.


its a walkoff









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