Thursday, February 18, 2010

Professional Crastination

when you wake up in the morning, chances are you aren't feeling like p diddy. though i don't know if thats necessarily a bad thing. i feel like p diddy probably wakes up with mad hangovers

today i woke up in the morning, and i certainly did not feel like p diddy. one, because im white. two because im pretty sure the time interval is up for when he has to change his name to something that is basically the same exact thing as his former name. three, because i figure every list should have at least three things in order to be perceived as legitmate, so i didn't want to end on two

but today, i woke up in the morning today feeling like shiite. like, if i was a follower of the islamic faith, i would not be a sunni. good thing i don't live in philadelphia. its always sunni there.

but for really, waking up on three hours of sleep is not exactly what i would classify as tons of fun. though i must admit, my sleep deprivation is entirely my fault. i go to college. thus, i am a professional crastinator. thus, all nighters are more inevitable than aaron carter's fall from grace. thus, i use the word thus a lot because when you are pulling an all nighter writing a paper, thus often becomes one of those go-to words that save time at five in the morning, because you don't have to waste any time hitting up bronthesaurus rex.

For most people, professional crastination is kind of like continuing to chew gum way after it loses its flavor. that is, the majority of you rickenheads view procrastination as a bat habit, or a useless routine. overall, you view your inability to do work at a 'normal' hour as something that is done for absolutely no reason whatsoever. and thus, ( the go-to word strikes again) it should be rectified so that at 4 am, you could be dreaming about martin luther king rather than reading about a dream that the MLK man once had. by the way, the big MLK must have had an outstanding REM cycle.

thus, your constant procrastination will often prompt you to make amends to yourself such as 'wow that sucked. i will never do that again because i am like, sooo tired, and like ohmygoshihaveneverevenlikestayedupthislatelookatthesun!' in real people terms, you will make vows to get work done early due to the fact that your circadian rhythm is far from iN sync. this i promise you.

i may be going out on a limb here, but i feel that the branches in this case are pretty sturdy, so im not too worried:

Don't immigrate. Even if you have to re-do getting your visa, full citizenship in the procrastiNATION is infinitely rewarding. like, even more rewarding than when you have a craving for hot dogs for about a month and then finally eat like five of them.*

that may or may not have just happened to me.

anyway, the rewards to procrastination are endless. and because they would take longer to write about than it takes for that kid in your group of friends who tells the longest and most unnecessarily drawn out stories to finally stop talking, it will be a tale for tomorrow. and the next day. and the next day. and maybe even the day after that.

song of the day:

mr. blue sky, electric light orchestra

its a beautiful new day. and i couldn't be more psyched about it. insert smiley face here.

No comments:

Post a Comment