sorry boys. you aren't that special. cash actually rules everything around everyone. thats why everyone goes to qdoba on mondays.
**for those of you newbie miles' out there, qdoba has this sweet thing called half price monday
Due to this college stereotyping escapade, asher roth has been probably much more relevant than he should ever be. though thats not too bad of a thing. in fact, the hipsters/upton sinclairs are pretty psyched about it, cause it gives them yet another reason to have a protest.
now don't get me wrong. i think its a terrific song. but it would be stupid to say that it doesn't have flaws. to say that 'i love college' exhibits complete musical perfection would be about as accurate as the police report in superbad.
Things wrong with 'I love college'
-He wishes that we taped that party last night. I don't really think that is the best idea. If it was that awfully crazy, it would probably be incriminating in some way
-he 'danced his ass off,' but didn't go to the hospital, let alone go see a doctor. i don't know about you, but that sounds like something that should be treated
-Asher Roth says that he is 'nice right now.' Does that mean he is usually a rather nasty person?
-he wants to go to college for the rest of his life. unless he has the funds worthy of mr. deeds, it probably wouldn't be the most saavy investment. plus, why does he need to prepare for a career if he is just going to spend the rest of his life preparing for a career? its just illogical.
-the pizza that he gets (a dollar a slice) probably isn't of very high quality. unless its the new dominos. if you haven't tried it, its a revelation.
-if intends on buying that pizza, he probably will have to retract the statement 'good friends is all i need.' unless of course, his friends always pay for him and don't expect for him to pay them back
-he only averages 7 hours of sleep a night. thats just unhealthy.
-I don't think Hakeem Olajuwon was ever a beer pong champion. though iverson probably was.
-If he is so thirsty on thursday nights, why would he just 'sip' bankers club? clearly more heavy drink action is required for successful thirst quenching.
-He woke up today, and apparently all he could say was how crazy the party last night was. yet he continues to say other stuff in the song. clearly he is a liar.
-Putting your drink as high as you can is somewhat risky because you have a greater chance of spilling it. thus, you wouldn't be able to chug, chug, chug
*this idea was inspired by justin eisenband. you may not be aware, but he read this book called shutter island, which is actually coming out as a movie later this week
Since i know i could sometimes get more boring than Alan Rickman's tone of voice, I added a new section for featured writers. if theres anything you want to submit (and i mean literally anything), e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org and ill put it up. right now, theres some lovely material from taylor swift that i found pretty riveting.
i have been told that these are too short. for that i apologize. i know that you are counting me on me to extend your procrastination time as long as humanly possible, so i will strive for consistency in frequency and length to the best of my ability. like spiderman, i am aware that with great power comes great responsibility
i think theres only one real choice for the song of the day:
asher roth: i love college
what a joke of a video